Axis of Evil Wannabes

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Axis of Evil Wannabes

by John Cleese

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil...we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics."

Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America," while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
 
ROTFLMAO :)

"Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, leaders said that's only because no one asked them. "

My poor country - it just too small :(

:) :)
 
It's funny though, almost every country is in an axis of evil. (Except for those poor countries in Africa) It makes you wonder. What do you consider an axis of evil? People who attack others? Come on. How many countries you've seen have never attacked any other country? The world is getting dangerous.
 
Bliss said:
How many countries you've seen have never attacked any other country? The world is getting dangerous.
Click to expand...
Yeah, but we have to stop it someday, not? Leave the history to history, there is no point reminding Middle Ages or even before (not to you, Bliss, I'm speaking in general :) ). "My people were here before yours in V century". Nah, it just funny, like small kids. There are lots of courtries that were conquered in the past, why to start it again? And this is what muslim's world is doing. Yes, not all of them, but too much. See for example IRA - it "fighting" against GB, but have you heard about IRA attacks around the world? Now look at Taliban, Al-Quaeda etc. You can see their "hand" almost in every place on this poor Earth, so against who they are going? Against all the world?

My 2 cents - unless the rest of Europe (and Russia as well) stop pouting and join US and GB, the world will suffer from terrorism
 
StPatrick said:
Yeah, but we have to stop it someday, not? Leave the history to history, there is no point reminding Middle Ages or even before (not to you, Bliss, I'm speaking in general :) ). "My people were here before yours in V century". Nah, it just funny, like small kids. There are lots of courtries that were conquered in the past, why to start it again? And this is what muslim's world is doing. Yes, not all of them, but too much. See for example IRA - it "fighting" against GB, but have you heard about IRA attacks around the world? Now look at Taliban, Al-Quaeda etc. You can see their "hand" almost in every place on this poor Earth, so against who they are going? Against all the world?

My 2 cents - unless the rest of Europe (and Russia as well) stop pouting and join US and GB, the world will suffer from terrorism
Click to expand...

That's kinda what I mean. How does the US stop violence? They attack other countries. It's a chain reaction, and no one knows how to stop it.

Ps. My posts are not meant to starts political wars.
 
Bliss said:
That's kinda what I mean. How does the US stop violence? They attack other countries. It's a chain reaction, and no one knows how to stop it.

Ps. My posts are not meant to starts political wars.
Click to expand...
That's right, well if I only knew how to stop all what goes on in today's world, I would probably getting a Nobel prize :)
 
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